Weekly Commentary: "It's the Shidduch, Stupid" - Why Haredim Don't Serve
Dr. Aaron Lerner 13 March 2025

The overarching concern for the average Haredi young man is the quality of
the shidduch he will eventually get.

And this concern drives his decision-making process.

So when he chooses where to study, it isn't based on his abilities or
interests but rather on what he thinks will get him the best shidduch.

I know Haredi teenagers who love science and have made the painful choice to
attend an institution bereft of science studies for the sake of their future
shidduch.

Let's be clear: Even Haredi young men with a priori low prospects for a
shidduch due to family background and other factors are focused on getting
the best shidduch possible.

And today, army service dramatically reduces the quality of the shidduch a
young Haredi man can get.

As long as this remains the case, the overwhelming majority of young Haredi
men will continue to do everything in their power to avoid army service
before marriage.

I do not claim to know how to change this situation.

I am only suggesting that this is a factor that should not be ignored by
policymakers.

A policy that exempts serious yeshiva students from the draft, for example,
might serve to raise the "shidduch cost" of serving in the IDF.

On the other hand, a program that drafts young Haredim from the top yeshivas
of the country into any kind of service that requires them to wear uniforms
and hold weapons - even for a short period - might remove the stigma from
IDF service.

One thing is certain: As long as IDF service is seen as a major impediment
to getting a good shidduch, friendly talk won't go very far.

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